preamble

if there was a way that you could go back and do it all over again, would you?

nothing in my life has happened quite like I ever thought it would. at the time of writing this and doing my best to organise this all just a bit better, I’m seventeen.

I suppose I can be a little melodramatic at times, especially in posts such as these; so for this one, I just want to be real. I struggle. Probably a lot more than I often realise. But I’m okay. Or so I tell myself.

I’ve been so blessed to be where I am today. I’ve been given some wonderful friends and family and opportunities that I am so grateful for. Jesus is always faithful. But something I realise now is that even the people that are put in your life for a reason aren’t always there for you when you need them most. But Jesus has been, is, and will forever be there when no one else is. That’s my story at its core, just a boy with his heart on his sleeve, some dreams, and a friend named Jesus.

I’ve reorganised this little blog of mine into a format that’s hopefully a little easier to access, with a little bit cleaner design and all. Cobblestep is really just what I wanted to name this deeply personal exploration of time, space, and Jesus as they impacted my life. It was all created about eight years ago now, and it sounds crazy even saying that. I sound so different to myself. My imagination gives me a smile when I reread what I wrote when I was much, much younger. But nevertheless, this small thing captures a life-changing moment of my life in a way that my words now couldn’t quite do. I’ve polished it all up a little, but I’m not going to change any of the words I wrote. But untouched words are like a time machine, they take you back to remember where you once were, or ponder where you’ll be in a few year’s time.

If I shared this piece of me with you… you should know that you mean the world to me, whoever you are.

I suppose that I’m a bit like a piece of pottery with some chips in it. I’m fragile, and I don’t want to be broken, so I keep my guard up and keep to myself, afraid that if I give a part of me to someone else, they might drop it. I don’t want to be vulnerable. I don’t want to be hurt. I just want someone to be there when I need them most.

If I could go back in time, I wouldn’t change any of it. God has a plan for all of this, even the bad parts. But if I did travel back to any moment of it, I would see how God used all of it for good.

this is all part of a perfect plan. this is the past, present, and future. this is memories, good and bad. this is growth, and love, and pain, and hope, and dreams, and me. this is vulnerable. this is cobblestep.